Plans, Changes – and a Discussion with My Inner Gremlin

Yucca - Boyce Thompson State Arboretum

Yucca Tree © 2013 Bo Mackison

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. ~ Lao Tzu

Recently I’ve been working with change.

This season is already a bit too hectic for a hardcore introvert, with the approaching holidays and much anticipated visits from relatives traveling to the Midwest from “sea to shining sea.” After the holidays, there will be whirlwind packing, cross-country travel, and then a transition from snowy Wisconsin to sunny Arizona. (Yes, though I am looking forward to Arizona, it is still change, and even a much wanted change requires time for adaptation.)

And if this wasn’t enough for a busy December, I also chose to take big steps in my business. I launched my new website, one that feels in sync with who I am, and what I want to offer. I announced my intentions for the coming year – Focus Sessions, workshops, and a Desert Wisdom Retreat.

And then I heard my inner gremlin say, “Just what the heck do you think you are doing?”

It was a perfectly understandable question from my gremlin. (Her name is Miss Patsy, by the way, and she is a re-incarnation of my third grade teacher who had very high standards, never to be met in this world or the next.)  Yes, this was a typical response to lots of changes, to stepping up my game, but it caught me off guard and threw me far off-balance. I felt as if I were staggering everywhere I walked.

Eventually I stopped and took a great many deep breaths. Then I invited my inner gremlin to join me at a local coffee shop, pen and paper in hand, and I began to free write, letting Miss Patsy take turns when she had something to say. While Miss Patsy kept flinging words at the paper, like “imposter” and “too big for your britches”, I explored my present, where I have been, and where I want to go. And finally, my inner gremlin quieted. And so did I.

I re-affirmed that I am on the right path. This is indeed my journey. I will journey on my own timetable, but I will journey.

And as I squirmed in my seat and got myself comfortable, I settled into the changes. It felt just right.

I discovered new energy and creative determination, and yes, a lot of excitement and grand anticipation, as I take my next steps, one baby step at a time. Hope you will be joining me!