Writing Your Life Story Part 10: Harmony – A Memoir Writing Prompt

Hens and Chicks

Zen Garden © 2012 Bo Mackison

There are times when writing is like singing a favorite song — the pen can barely keep up with the hand as words fly onto the paper.

But at other times, writing is more akin to singing a dirge — thoughts come slowly, none of the words make sense, and the writing rhythm gets lost before the first sentences are recorded. When writing becomes work instead of fun, I often search for a word in the dictionary to get me started – a habit I learned from a high school English teacher.

As I was considering a list of ideas for the Memoir Project, each idea took off but then sputtered to the ground. I decided I needed a prompt to get me started. I looked in the dictionary and chose the word harmony.

Here are a several prompts to prime your writing pump, and start your memories flowing.

  • Albert Einstein is famous for many things, including being the author of many wise words. One of his more famous quotes is:

“There are three rules of work. Out of clutter find simplicity. From discord find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” ~Einstein

Can you recall a time in your life when you were able to find harmony in discord?

  • One often associates the word harmony with music. Music is a wonderful prompter of memories. Think of a popular song from your youth or from the present times. Can you associate any memories with that song?
  • Have you ever sung in a choir? There’s a lot of harmony going on in a choir — and in more ways than just the melody. Experiences where people join together to do what they love often bring about close, lasting relationships. And shared moments, some happy, some poignant, some nerve-wracking, but usually group experiences are filled with life lessons. Do you have a choir story — and a life lesson — worth sharing?
  • When people gather together, even in informal groups, there is often a lot of singing going on. It might not be quite the harmonious singing from an organized musical group, but the lessons learned and the stories shared are no less important. Traditional songs and family favorites are passed on to young children. Older kids and families sing together spontaneously. Teenagers form bands in order to express themselves. On and on through life, we share experiences with other people with song.

Set your timer for ten minutes and compile a list — don’t give it much thought, use a speedy pen.

Keep writing — of times when music played a role in your life, any kind of role. I’ll share the beginnings of my list as an example:

  • Singing in the backyard while I was swinging. I was maybe 8 or 10. Tried to keep the rhythm of my singing even with my swinging. Went to a Catholic grade school – we were practicing hymns for a special concert and for weeks I sang the hymn Ave Maria while swinging. Until I saw the neighbor lady watching me through her curtained window, shaking her head in disbelief at my irreverence. I felt guilty for weeks — until I went to confession and the priest told me “God loves all kinds of singing.”
  • My sister, born when I was nine years old. My grandmother sang lovely German lullabies to her, ones I also wanted to sing, but I couldn’t manage the German words. I pretended instead… and insisted to my friends that I could sing in German. Then the mother of one of my friends spoke to me in fluent German. Oops!
  • Vacation trips with my three kids in the car for weeks at a time. As preteens and young teens, they would get out of sorts when we were heading to a far destination. We made up a game involving singing musicals — any musical counted, from Broadway to Disney. We all took turns, parents played too, or it wasn’t as much fun. Almost any singing counted. A few words and some humming. La la la’a. As long as it was recognizable. We would go ’round and ’round for hours — yes, hours — each taking a turn singing. Lots of laughing, too. Played this game for years. Still play it once in a great while. One of kids’ favorite vacation memories.

Go ahead. Set your timer and give it a try.

If the word harmony doesn’t provide you with the proper inspiration, then do as Sister Mary Gabriel did when I was in high school English class. Pull out a dictionary or other handy book. Open a page. Point to a word. Then start to write, using your dictionary word as a prompt. Ten minutes. No stopping.

You never know when mining for words will provide that perfect start-up for an addition to your Memoir Project.

Writing Your Life Story Part 7: Jump Start Your Memoir

Benches in a Formal Garden © 2010 Bo Mackison

Action does not always require a large commitment.

It doesn’t need a complicated plan or a large chunk of your time. Many things, including adding daily writing to your day, can be done in small steps. Carve fifteen minutes out of your morning to write a hundred words and in a month you will have accumulated 3,000 words.

A few minutes of daily writing turns a few dozen sentences into a wealth of memories and information.

Here are three writing actions that can be done in 15 minutes segments of time. If the prompts lead you on a path you decide not to follow, then you have only invested a few minutes. Stop. Try a different prompt or technique. Not every prompt works for every writer. But if you strike a rich writing vein, you can always write longer than planned.

The words will add up quickly, and you will have stories, free-flowing thoughts, ideas, glimpses of the past, snippets of descriptions — all inspiration to add to your life story project.

Pick an action and start writing today.

Action #1. Write for 15 minutes describing what you and your immediate family were doing when you heard about or experienced a newsworthy event. Pick one that affected a large number of people in the world. Perhaps you watched a global event on television, like the tearing down of the Berlin Wall or when man first walked on the moon.

Action #2. Write about an event that affected only a few people on a personal level. Perhaps it was the birth of a long-awaited baby, a move to a new home, or the loss of a job. Or write about an event that happened in your hometown or the death of a person in your community that affected you deeply.

Action #3. Another technique for zeroing in on a specific event, and then expanding on its effect, is to do short interviews – only one to three questions in length – with several people who experienced the same event. Asking people of different ages and stages in life can highlight the similarities and differences that an event had not only you, but on other people in your life. This exercise adds meaning and depth when viewed from several perspectives.

An example: putting Action #3 into action.

I choose a difficult topic for Action # 3. I asked family members questions about 9/11, the World Trade Center tragedy in New York City that occurred over a decade ago. I asked them to recall their memories of that day. I purposely chose family members from three generations.

When the event happened in 2001, the family members I interviewed were: a 76-year-old woman living in a small town in the Midwest; a 46-year-old businessman who was working in a downtown Chicago skyscraper when the event happened; a 20-year-old college junior studying at the University of Michigan; and a 13-year-old living at home and in middle school.

I asked two questions.

First, a personal question: “What were you doing when you first heard about the 9/11 tragedy?”

Second, a perspective question: “How did you think this event would affect you, your family, and/or your country?”

Here are a few excerpts from the interviews:

“…didn’t even know about it til the evening news. I’d been in the garden…never in my life we ever have such an enemy on American soil…I thought maybe soldiers would be coming, maybe we’d have a war…”

“…was working on the 45th floor of the Sears Tower, one of Chicago’s skyscrapers…we had to evacuate. Walk down the stairs, take nothing with us except our briefcases. Stopped traffic jammed the streets and people crowded the sidewalks. When I reached the train station, the trains weren’t running…I was in a park-and-drive 40 miles from the station…I was 150 miles away from my home and family…desperate to get home. I figured it would be better once we were all together.”

“I was getting ready to go to class and I saw a bunch of kids crowded around the TV in our lounge. I stopped to see what they were looking at. While I watched the TV, I saw the second plane…I didn’t understand. Then I was in shock. We all were. None of us went to class after that…we watched the TV all day and all night.”

“I remember I was in eighth grade. My teachers kept whispering in the hallways all day and kept saying “don’t worry.” Except we didn’t know what we weren’t supposed to worry about, so we worried a lot…parents started coming and taking  kids out of school… during my last class of the day, my history teacher brought a TV into class and finally told us. We talked about what happened… I didn’t get it. I didn’t have a clue until I went home and talked to my Mom. But I still didn’t really understand.”

With the experiences of others added to my interpretation of the day’s events, it presents a vivid picture of that time in history from different perspectives. It adds depth to the story and helps ground the events in real time.

Try one or more of the above prompts. Set your timer and start writing. Or  do an impromptu interview.

Next: Part 8, Memoir and Photography

Writing Your Life Story Part 6: Collect Memories in Letters

Cross My Heart

Cross My Heart © 2011 Bo Mackison

Write letters for the Memoir Project?

Yes. It’s a quick project with many benefits.

My mother’s only cousin turns 90 in a few days. (Happy Birthday, Cousin Pauline!) I have a card ready to pop in the mail, but I didn’t want to send wishes for her big day without adding a personal note.

It would have been easier for me to scribble a few words and sign a big “I love you!” at the bottom of the card, but while I was trying to come up with the right few words, I realized that this birthday event would be a perfect time to do some life story writing “on the fly.”

That’s mostly how I write my life story – in little projects that add up over time.

How easy would it be to pen a special memory to a special person when it is time to send a special card?  Sure, it adds extra minutes to the card choosing and address writing basics, but a card with a handwritten note is so much more meaningful, especially if it recounts a memorable time for the recipient.

I chose a photo-art card that featured a rose on the cover, remembering that Pauline had a very small yard, but she always had rose bushes flanking her home’s front door. Then I brainstormed to recall a few memories from weekend visits with Pauline and her husband. In less than a half hour I had come up with a few details I thought Pauline would enjoy reading.

Here is an excerpt from the letter I eventually wrote:

I always loved visiting your home in the big city. There were always special trips to the mall. I still remember how fascinated I was that the largest department store in your mall had a roof shaped like a two-story-tall woman’s hat — it even had a pink bow and tiny windows.

But one weekend when we visited, I was too distracted to enjoy myself.

Our visit came a few weeks before the end of the school semester. I was struggling with my math assignments and worried about the upcoming comprehensive exam. Math was never much to my liking, and I talked myself into an inability to memorize the multiplication and division tables.

To make matters even worse,  you were a highly respected math teacher at the junior high school where you taught and the math department head and you had recently completed the coursework for your masters’ degree in mathematics. I was impressed at your math accomplishments, but also terrified that you would quiz me on my math facts and I would be embarrassed, not knowing the right answers.

But you surprised me. When you asked how I was doing in school, I blurted out, “I love school…all but math. I hate math!”

I remember you looked at me, first with surprise, and then you broke into prolonged laughter. Finally you wiped a few tears from your eyes and called me over to your overstuffed chair. You pulled me onto your lap, and whispered, “Why don’t you tell me what part of math you hate the very most?”

Pauline, I remember you gave me a big hug after I told you I was “no good at multiplying.”

You nodded your head, and you said, “There are things that you can do very well and things you can’t. And that is OK. If math is one of those not so good things, maybe I can teach you a few tricks to make it easier.”

You called it “math magic” and you showed me how to maneuver the numbers in my head while I was multiplying. If I was trying to figure out the answer to 8 times 6, and I didn’t know the 6 tables very well, but I did know the 5 tables, you told me how to multiply 8 times 5 (easy!) and just add another 8 for the right total.

Presto! That math trick, and several others, helped me conquer some of my math fear and I went home with a better attitude about math facts.

But, Pauline, this is really what you taught me that weekend – that it is OK if you are good at some things, and not so good at others. Thank you, not just for the math lesson, for the lesson about life.

I mailed the letter, but first I made a copy to put in my memoir container.

I also checked my calendar for the remainder of the year and picked a special event — birthday, anniversary, graduation — for each month.

I put a reminder on my calendar to send a special occasion card with a “memoir letter.”

When I break my life writing into tiny steps and make them serve a special purpose, such as writing a quick story in a card, it is easy for snippets of memories to get captured on paper.

Do you have any special occasions that are coming up in the next month or two? Why not put a note on your calendar to add a story to your card? You’ll document a bit more of your life story, and the recipient will get a special gift, too.

Next: Part 7,  Jump Start Your Writing

Writing Your Life Story Part 4: Why Write Your Story?

Polyvitro Chandelier and Tower

Polyvitro Chandelier and Tower © 2014 Bo Mackison

Friends, family, even strangers ask: “Why should I write down my life story?” “I haven’t anything important to share.” “Who would want to read about my life?”

So . . . why write my life story or memoir?

Different writers have different reasons, but here are a few:

Memoir writing can be therapeutic.

Writing your way through a difficult period of life, or writing about the learning of a challenging life lesson can help put the experience into perspective.

Memoirs provide teaching moments.

A good memoir focuses on an event or series of events that evoke a change in the author — perhaps a change of view, a change of feelings, a change for better (or worse.)

Memoirs provide for personal sharing and keep moments alive.

This sharing need not be for a large audience; the writing may only be written for family members or friends. It is a way of documenting a part of their lives, too. I recalled a poem I recently read that described a moment by a writer as he watched his words being read by another.

A day will come I’ll watch you reading this.
I’ll look up from these words I’m writing now—
this line I’m standing on, I’ll be right here,
alive again. I’ll breathe on you this breath.
~~ excerpt from the poem The One Certain Thing by Peter Cooley

Ask yourself. Why write about your life, your memories?

This makes a great writing prompt. Are you writing to resolve an old issue? Are you writing to share a major shift in your actions or way of thinking? Or like the poet, are you writing your story, even in a small way, for posterity?

Consider writing down your reasons and making it a part of your memoir collection.

Next: Part 5, The Perfect Container

Writing Your Life Story Part 3: How to Create A Photo Keepsake Booklet

Grandma and Brother © 2010 Bo Mackison

This is the third post in the Memoir Project, a series on documenting your life story. The first two projects in the Memoir Project were writing projects. Now is a good time to branch out and add a multimedia touch.

Let’s add an easy photography project.

No need to have an expensive camera or a camera with fancy settings unless that is the kind of camera you love to use. A basic camera is fine. Or a phone camera. Or a three dollar disposable camera from the corner store.

We often annotate our photographs when we organize them.

We take photos. Then we add information on the back — date, place, names. Important information. However in this project, the photographs are not the only part of the project. The writing is just as important.

My photo booklet — in the photograph below — focuses on an important person in my life.

You may want to do a similar project with the focus on a person, or you may want to feature your favorite books, art, foods. You can photograph the place where you live, including details that make your house a special place. You can do a photo shoot documenting your typical activities on a typical day. You are limited in subject matter only by your imagination!

Grandma Lillian © 2010 Bo Mackison

I chose to write about my grandmother, one of the more influential women in my life, who lived to be 91 years old. I have many fond memories of my grandmother — I lived with her until I left home to attend college — but I wanted to write about her using a multifaceted approach.

I chose to do a project about objects and mementos she had given me, both as a child and as an adult. I photographed these items and included them in a booklet, using each photo as an evocative prompt for writing. Here are the directions for making a similar booklet. You can adapt the directions to your own project.

How-To Directions for Turning a Photo Booklet into a Memoir Keepsake:

1. I only have a few things from my grandmother. I went through my home collecting those items. In ten minutes, I’d found several pieces of jewelry, a collectible miniature shoe, a lucky buckeye, and my most beloved treasure, a gravy bowl that my grandparents had received as a wedding gift.

2. I took photos of each object. Again, nothing fancy. Try to use natural lighting if possible–set the items up on a table near a window, or even outside, but don’t photograph items in direct sunlight. A shaded area is fine. It is also better to avoid flash if you shoot indoors, but don’t get hung up on the photography. Just take the photos. Take several photos of each item, so you can choose the best photo of each item.

3. Make prints of a photograph of each object.

4. Mount the photographs on a backing paper. You can use a variety of papers, a heavy weight paper works best. I used a decorative paper from a local arts and crafts store.

Remembering GrandmaSentimental Objects © 2010 Bo Mackison

5. I created a front and back page for the booklet. I photocopied a vintage photo of my grandmother — don’t use an original! — and glued it to the front of the booklet. Use any photograph, drawing, or title that captures the focus and spirit of your book.

6. Punch a hole in the top left corner of each photo and the cover pages.

7. Tie the two covers and all the photographs together with a ribbon or use a metal binder ring (can be purchased at an office store.)

8. Once you complete your booklet, the writing begins. (Or sooner, if you are inspired.) When using photographs of special objects, thinking about the memorabilia will bring back many memories. Write whatever comes to mind on the back of each photograph. No over-thinking, just a quick written sketch will do.

9. Keep the booklet handy. You can add information as you recall more details. Once in a while I find another item from my grandmother. (Just last week, I realized my rolling-pin had come from her kitchen.) Take photographs and update the booklet as needed.

Here is a sample of the quick writing I did on the back of the photograph of the gravy boat.

This is my favorite object I have from Grandma. It’s a Noritake china gravy bowl with a matching saucer.  My favorite part is the elegant but tiny matching ladle. She and Grandpa Harry received it from his great-aunt when they married in 1919. I remember using it on special occasions such as Thanksgiving dinner. I always loved it, and Grandma gave it to Robert and me the summer we planned our own wedding.

In our family we used the gravy bowl frequently while the kids were growing up. I think whenever we had gravy with a meal, one of the children would ask if we could “please use Great Grandma’s bowl.” The kids used the bowl and tiny ladle while I cautioned them to be careful–I couldn’t help but utter words of warning!–but all three kids, from the time they were barely in school, ladled their own gravy onto their mashed potatoes from the precious china bowl.

We use it to this day, and everyone thinks of it as one of our more valuable family heirlooms.

In the next project, we’ll explore another quick writing prompt and discuss methods for storing your growing memoir stash!

Next: Part 4, Why Write Your Life Story?