Diverging Lines

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? . . . We are all meant to shine, as children do . . . And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

I am taking things easy this evening, after a wild day of stormy weather, intense explorations, eye-opening meetings, and a spell of night driving on dark, slippery roads where a few cars had already slid into the side ditch. I felt relief when I pulled the car into the garage, sat for a few minutes in the dark and took a few deep breaths to super-oxygenate my brain.

I met with some wise people today. I went seeking answers — again — to questions I have asked for nearly twenty years, questions that no one was able or willing to answer, and this time I got an answer. There was no guarantee, but I was offered a course of actions. They would require life altering commitments, but there is now a road map and a chance for success.

While I pondered my options, lines from the above quote by Marianne Williamson flashed through my head. I searched for the entire quote in my notebook where I have copied quotes for years. I read the words again.

“. . . our deepest fear is . . . powerful beyond measure . . . It is our light that frightens us . . . Be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. . . liberated from our own fear.”

Do I want to accept this challenge? It will be hard work. A change in life-style. Commitment to a routine, not for a few weeks or a few months, for a lifetime.

I make excuses. I am too old to re-wire myself. I am too set in my ways to begin a new routine. I don’t have enough energy to commit to a new movement regime. I don’t have enough will-power to re-structure my meals, my food choices. It would be too hard.

And I don’t want to change!!!

But, paradoxically, I desperately do want to change.

I glance at my book of quotations again, and these words catch my attention:

“The veil of illusion that has been keeping you from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion, but the cool flame of awareness.” ~ Osho

And that is the answer. Now that I am aware of a choice, of a chance for this change in my life, I can’t refuse.

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Bo Mackison is a photographer, owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC. She is also a woman who collects wise quotations, and sometimes those wise words are exactly what she needs to read.