All Winter I Harvest

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HERONS IN WINTER IN THE FROZEN MARSH

by Mary Oliver

All winter
two blue herons
hunkered in the frozen marsh,
like two columns of blue smoke.

What they ate
I can’t imagine,
unless it was the small laces
of snow that settled

in the ruckus of the cattails,
or the glazed windows of ice
under the tired
pitchforks of their feet—

so the answer is
they ate nothing,
and nothing good could come of that.
They were mired in nature, and starving.

Still, every morning
they shrugged the rime from their shoulders,
and all day they
stood to attention

in the stubbled desolation.
I was filled with admiration,
sympathy,
and, of course, empathy.

It called for a miracle.
Finally the marsh softened,
and their wings cranked open
revealing the old blue light,

so that I thought: how could this possibly be
the blunt, dark finish?
First one, then the other, vanished
into the ditches and upheavals.

All spring, I watched the rising blue-green grass,
above its gleaming and substantial shadows,
toss in the breeze,
like wings.

Five lines from Mary Oliver’s poem, Herons in Winter in the Frozen Marsh, and an interpretation of a different sort.

ALL WINTER I HARVEST

ALL WINTER I harvest patience, aware as the darkest dark inches towards light, as seconds of light replace seconds of darkness; from this emerges a daily practice of awareness, of the smallest of movements gathering, of self care, of perseverance, of gratitude.

THEY SHRUGGED THE RIME FROM THEIR SHOULDERS, let me brush the frost from mine, in anticipation of the coming warmth. The sun comes up each morning, visible to me or not, whether I feel its warmth or not. I will not cry out for warmth in this time of darkness and cold, but wrap my grandmother’s shawl about me, gather meanings of old that warm me, hold that warmth in the breast of my body, absorb her energy, matriarchal strength, and rest in the ease she offers.

IT CALLED FOR A MIRACLE but then, let me be honest with myself, each day I call for a miracle and each day I receive a miracle. I awake to yet another day, life continues, life anticipated, deeply desired.

INTO THE DITCHES AND UPHEAVALS, those times in life I’ve pitched forward, dropped to my knees, there where the true meat of living exists, seldom is raw life found in the land of endlessly smooth pathways. Ditches and upheavals are mines for discovery and recovery.

TOSS IN THE BREEZE the worries, toss in kindnesses and the tender swirling of sweet words, add respect, toss once again, gently. Let the refreshment settle on my shoulders, let the winds remind me to inhale and awaken.

Whispering Shimmer Awakens the Soul

Prairie of Coneflowers @2014 Bo Mackison

 “When I look in the mirror, I see a woman with secrets. When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us.”
~ Terry Tempest Williams

Look at the prairie.
See the coneflowers?
Look in the mirror.
See the secrets?
Look into the shimmering souls.
Listen to the whisper of intuition.
The whispering shimmers
unleash the secrets, the words, the truths.

Awaken the soul.

 

A Patchwork Quilt – Sarah’s “Comfort”

a wabi-sabi treasure

Wabi-sabi Treasure © 2009 Bo Mackison

My great-grandmother, Sarah Margaret Smulling, was 18 years old when she made what she referred to in her diary as her  “comfort” and entered it in the county fair. She brought  home a blue ribbon. (still attached)

Embroidery Sampler © 2009 Bo Mackison

Sarah was born in 1866; she sewed and painted this coverlet c. 1884. She lived on a farm in Clark County, Missouri, near the town of Kahoka, where her older sister and brother-in-law had a millinery shop. Her sister brought home the scraps from her shop, and shared them with her younger sisters. Most evenings, after completing the farm chores, Sarah and her sisters would gather and each would sew or decorate their “comforts” or other pieced items.

Fan Applique © 2009 Bo Mackison

Since the girls were using scraps from a well-established and profitable shop, they had access to the finest of materials. Silk, damask, moire, chintze, brocade, velvet, and fine cotton – all were available for their use. Sarah  appliqued many designs on this piece, including this elaborate orange fan in the above photo.

Painted Swan © 2009 Bo Mackison

Sarah evidently had some talent in the arts. She was the only girl in the family who actually painted on her fabric. Most of the small paintings are of the more common varieties of flowers–daisies, violets, wild roses–but she also painted several butterflies and this swan.

The quilt is done in mostly browns, neutrals, and oranges. Sarah added a five inch wide swath of bright pink chintz to her quilt, a rather usual finishing touch. Though there are worn places in the more delicate fabric, I consider this a special heirloom.

More close-ups photographs of other sections of the quilt are in this flickr set.

Life is a Verb Camp 2014 – *Camp*anionship at its Finest

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Morning is Dancing © 2014 Bo Mackison

I had the great honor and privilege to attend Patti Digh’s Life is a Verb Camp 2014 last week. There, a hundred wonderful people gathered for the second annual camp near Asheville, North Carolina.

We danced by the lake at the sun rose over the tree line and the fog hovered upon Lake Kanuga, crying and laughing and hugging and offering deep support and love.We struggled though yoga moves before coffee(!!!) and breakfast while the kindest of kind instructors gently, so gently, encouraged.

We sang, some of us off key but with great exuberance, as a group of 100 vivacious, expressive, loving campers sang songs ranging from In My Wildest Dreams to Stars to Amazing Grace. The musicians were out of this world.

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Camp Kanuga, Home of Patti Digh’s Life is a Verb Camp 2014 © 2014 Bo Mackison

I slept in a Kanuga Cabin built in 1909 and on the National Register of Historic Places (for architectural history geeks like me who love that sort of detail).

Cabin 13, by the way, was one of the luckiest cabins with the kindest of cabin mates and social hour visitors, my way of thinking! Love you guys!

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Rocking Chairs Provided © 2014 Bo Mackison

I rocked on the porch with other happy campers as we took in the view of the autumn trees and the lake beyond, and felt so alive in the midst of campanionship and nature’s beauty.

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Geography of Loss Workshop – Found Poetry ©2014 Bo Mackison

I attended a pre-camp workshop presented By Patti Digh and Kim Joris on The Geography of Loss, based on Patti’s book by the same name. Oh what a day that was as a camp warm-up experience…self-awareness, discovery, opening to our stories, creating and sharing with the kindest of communities.

Tears and hugs and compassion, oh my!

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You Can Sit Here With Us © 2014 Bo Mackison

I listened to the key note presentations of two of my poet heroes, Amy Shihab Nye and Ellen Bass. And decided I could call myself a poet again!

I was mesmerized by the stories of fellow campers during the morning Focus Sessions – and I even told my own story in a presentation on bullying called You Can Sit Here With Us. 

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Tandem Typewriter Poets – Maya Stein and Amy Tingle © 2014 Bo Mackison

I attended Creative Spark workshops, one on Creating my Own Adventure (by the above creative beings), another on Being Stabby (felt making) by Deb Reynolds.

I also presented my own workshop on Desert Wisdom and the Gifts of the Desert – what a thrill for this introvert.  I pushed my anxiety aside and so loved sitting in our circle and connecting with each other through our precious gifts of self!  (Though I find it almost impossible to comprehend that I did not remember to take a single photograph during either of my workshops. I’ll just have to hold them tightly in my memory — easily done!)

I had a poem composed for me by the talented typewriter poet duo of Maya Stein and Amy Tingle. (Such wise, wise poems, delivered on the spot, nine lines on an index card.) I now cherish my two poem cards. Amazing! Thank you, Maya and Amy.

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Camp Badges, Camp Memories © 2014 Bo Mackison

We collected camp badges for doing things like showing up (which can be amazingly hard), speaking out, being ourselves, making strong offers (another way of showing up, big time), for claiming our birthright as poets.

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Patti Digh, Offering Hugs and Hope and Happiness and Humor © 2014 Bo Mackison

Of course, Camp is a Verb would not exist if it were not for Patti Digh, who had a dream, and worked incredibly to make it come true. Every time Patti appeared on stage she offered… Hugs. Hope. Happiness. Honesty. Honor. Humor. Love. Love. Love.

Patti Digh – camp director, friend, confidante, mama, organizer, creative, courageous, promoter of social justice, and human being extra-ordinaire. Patti and her troupe of volunteers turned Camp Kanuga into the brilliant Camp is a Verb 2014 with magic, synchronicity, and damn hard work.

Oh the Autumn Colors © 2014 Bo Macksion

Oh the Autumn Colors © 2014 Bo Mackison

And now only weeks away (so excited!) Life is a Verb 2016 returns to Camp Kanuga on the weekend of November 3 through 6. I highly recommend you check out the camp website if you are even the tiniest bit curious. It will be a life-changing weekend!

Community. Courage. Creativity. Wouldn’t it be fine if you were there?

Working with the Desert Wisdom Cards – Past, Present, and Outcome

Desert Wisdom Cards - Three Card Spread

Desert Wisdom Cards – Three Card Spread © 2014 Bo Mackison

“One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one’s reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present.” ~ S.N. Goenka

Although I choose a Desert Wisdom Card each morning for personal reflection, there are days when I want to explore a specific aspect of my day in more depth.

Some days I pull three cards as I am reflecting on a question. This helps me address a question or situation from several directions.

The left card represents the past. Perhaps it is a past experience that has an impact on my present situation or a past relationship that influences my current situation. Perhaps it is a lesson learned, or not learned, that provides information.

The center card represents the present. How do I view my current situation? What influences are at work, both external and internal?

The right card represents the future or the outcome. Perhaps this is a long term or short term goal. Perhaps I decide on steps to take or a decision to make for an immediate outcome.

The cards are guides and encourage me to be open minded and explore lots of alternatives and connections.

I offer a personal example:

Situation and Question:

I have been asked to do an audio interview. While I’ve done written interviews, I’m hesitant to do an audio one. I deeply respect the woman who has requested the interview, I would love to do it on so many levels, for many reasons. Yet, I hold back and delay in setting an interview time.

I want to look at the situation in a new way, so I pull three cards. Courage. Vulnerability. Hope.

Courage Card:

  • The Courage card is a photograph of the remnants of an abandoned 1800s rancher’s home.
  • It is deep within the wilderness of Organ Pipe Cactus National Park, in the most southern reaches of the United States.
  • Cactus and desert shrub has taken over, as seen from the window view.
  • All that remains are the brick walls and wooden frames of this two room house.

Courage in the Past:

  • I connect with the words courage, wilderness, in the desert, being on my own.
  • I remember a situation, not so long ago, when I was on a hike in the high desert wilderness and lost the trail while scrambling on the rocky trail.
  • Late afternoon. I circled the trail several times before realizing that, unless another person appeared, I’d have to spend the night alone and off trail.
  • I recall feeling an odd mixture of fear and courage, knowing I was prepared enough to spend a night in the wilderness.
  • I remember thinking how dark the skies would be, how beautiful the night sky.
  • I realized I was facing a somewhat scary experience and I was capable of  managing.

Vulnerability Card:

  • The Vulnerability card is a photo of a mature prickly pear cactus. Two of its pads have a wounded surface exposed.
  • The plant exuded a protective fluid to cover the wound. It protects and continues to grow. I can allow myself be vulnerable and be OK.
  • Even though a part of the cactus is vulnerable, the remaining plant is vibrant and healthy.

Vulnerability in the Present:

  • I connect with the words “vulnerable,” “feeling exposed” AND “healing self,” “vibrant and healthy.”
  • When I think about doing an audio interview, I feel nervous (exposed) imagining this new experience, but I know I would be doing an interview with a kind and welcoming woman.
  • Though I may feel vulnerable, that is OK. I can feel vulnerable AND feel vibrant and ready to show up.

Hope Card:

  • The Hope card is a photo of a door, its threshold, and an interior stairway at a southern Arizona mission ruins. (from Tumacacori Mission, a protected site, maintained as ruins, and part of the National Park System.)
  • Though I envision myself standing in the shadows, I can look through the portal and see the steps bathed in light.
  • The stairs are stone and in good repair. I know I can climb them as I walk forward. I will have a new perspective from the top of the stairway.
  • In climbing the stairs (taking on the challenge), I come to a place of warmth and light.

Hope as the Outcome:

  • I connect with the words “moving from the shadows into the light,” “the obstacle before me is not dangerous, it is in good repair, I am in good hands.”
  • When I reach the top of the stairs (do the interview) I will be in a place that feels warm and light.

In Summary:

  • I know that I have been in places of fear (lost off trail in the wilderness) AND I have felt courage (I am prepared enough to spend the night alone) and even anticipation and joy (what a show I will see — the dark skies alight with stars).
  • “How lovely are these cards!” I think as I consider the interview.
  • I feel like I can manage this “challenge” an I will enter “a place of warmth and light,” in other words, I can do the interview and do a good job.
  • It will be challenging AND satisfying.

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The third series of Desert Wisdom Cards are now available. Two of the above cards — vulnerability and hope — are in the new series. For more information, here is my invitation to you to explore and be inspired by these Wisdom Cards.