BREAKING NEWS!

The Mayor of Madison has had enough, too, so I don’t have to wait 12 more days for spring to be official. Madisonians will be dancing in the slushy, gray-snow-filled streets once they hear THIS news.

Today’s mayoral proclamation reads:

“Whereas, the winter of 2007-2008 will go down as one of the most severe in Madison history with record snowfall, strong winds, freezing rain, below zero temperatures and now, on top of it all, Brett Favre retires (for cryin’ out loud), and

“Whereas, these conditions make us better, hardier people of higher character than our friends who have fled to places like Florida and Arizona (or stupider); and

“Whereas, even with those advantages, we’ve had ENOUGH already; and

“Whereas, Madison has never been a community that simply accepts the status quo whether that be the results of national elections, the realities of nuclear fallout, general market conditions, or, for that matter, mere astronomical forces; and

“Whereas, Spring is a state of mind brought on by the thought of paddle sports and the sight of sleek new canoes and other cool canoe gear; and

“Whereas, Madison has been described as so many square miles surrounded by reality; and

“Whereas, Madison has been growing at a nice pace which must mean that reality is therefore shrinking; and

“Whereas, reality is overrated;

“Now, therefore, be it resolved that Spring officially begins in the City of Madison at 2 a.m. on Sunday, March 9.”

(Thanks, Dave.)