Writing Your Life Story Part 5: Finding the Perfect Container

January 13, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Open For Business
Open for Browsing © 2010 Bo Mackison

Awareness is not the same as thought. It lies beyond thinking, although it makes no use of thinking, honoring it’s value and it’s power. Awareness is more like a vessel which can hold and contain our thinking, helping us to see and know our thought as thought rather than getting caught up in them as reality. ~~ Jon Kabit-Zinn

The Memoir Project invites you to take a writing break. Go on a treasure hunt instead.

This is a treasure hunt to find the perfect vessel to “hold and contain your thinking,” those bits of memoir writing and projects you are collecting as the months pass by. (Although if your schedule permits, you could both write a story or two and go searching for that special container.)

Your container can be as plain or fancy as you wish, as decorative or functional as suits your own temperament. Of course, you may already own a special container and simply need to re-purpose it. Or a trip to the local shops may inspire you to examine boxes, baskets, and bags.

Leather Bag - Antique ShopAntique Leather Bag © 2010 Bo Mackison

I scoured the antique shops for a sewing basket to hold my growing stash of memoir projects.

My grandmother, a seamstress by profession, had a varnished wicker sewing basket, maybe fourteen inches in diameter, with a flat wicker lid. The top was decorated with a tassel of threads and buttons. I record many memories of my early years when I lived with my grandparents, and it would be meaningful to find a similar basket for my memoir storage.

What kind of container is right for your memoir collection?

A cookie tin for the baker in the family? A pink vintage suitcase for the traveler or wanna be traveler? A picnic basket for the outdoors enthusiast?

Set of Pink Ventana Suitcases - Antique ShopPink Vintage Luggage © 2010 Bo Mackison

Maybe an old-fashioned doll trunk to hold a trunkful of childhood memories? A bamboo box for the naturalist? A quilted bag to hold an accumulation of old letters and memorabilia? Or one of these great hat boxes to hold reminders of the “good ol’ days?”

Marshall Field Hat Boxes - Antique ShopMarshall Field Hat Box © 2010 Bo Mackison

What container will you choose for your memoir stash?

When you find the perfect container to contain your collection of writings and other memoir media, why not take thirty minutes to write about your choice and how it relates to the life story you are recording.

Then gather your memoir projects and put them all in their new home.

Next: Part 6, Collect Memories in Letters

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Writing Your Life Story Part 2: Using a Search Engine As Your Muse

January 8, 2014 by 1 Comment
Chihuly's Blue Star

Chihuly’s Blue Sapphire Star © 2014 Bo Mackison

This Memoir Project, the second project in a series of twelve, uses popular research tools to prompt your life story writing.

Using the internet for fact-finding can help recall information that jogs your memories.

Here is a simple technique for turning a search engine such as Google into your own personal muse.

  • Pick a memorable year in your life. Choose a significant birthday – maybe the year you turned Sweet 16, or the year you reached adulthood. Or choose a notable year – the year you married, moved across town, or across the country.
  • Pick one category or several. Research the best fiction and non-fiction books for that year. Also try the award-winning movies, the best albums or singles, and the most popular television shows.
  • Look at sites where you not only can find top 10 lists, but also a summary of the year’s news highlights, sports winners, and popular culture.
  • Researching the decade can make it easier to find information in one place. Here are a few links to get you started:

1960s: collection of music, books, movies and more from the 60s

1970s: the super seventies in music, literature, popular culture

1980s: an encyclopedia of music, cinema, and news for the 80s

1990s: nifty nineties’ top books, movies, happenings

  • What jogs your memory? Write what you remember. You aren’t creating a history book. You are recalling your memories the way you–and only you–remember them.

I chose 1976 as my memorable year.

It was the year I graduated from college, started my first job as a physical therapist, moved into my first apartment, and got married, all in 6 months time.

Since I have always been an inveterate reader, I checked out the top books in fiction and non-fiction. No memory jogs there.

I looked at the list of the top 10 TV shows. A few of the them are now classics–Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, M*A*S*H– but I wasn’t inspired to write.

However, my muse did awaken as I read over the list of popular music for 1976. Most of the singles were familiar. I played a few of the songs on YouTube and memories came flooding back.

One of the more popular songs of the year, Can’t Take My Eyes off of You by Frankie Valli, was the first song played at our wedding reception, our first dance. Suddenly I had a story I wanted to remember.

Here is an excerpt from “The First Dance”:

Bob and I met when we worked together at the university cafeteria. He worked so he could earn beer money. I worked so I could eat. When we decided to get married, there was the typical planning. My mother offered to help.

“What kind of band do you want? We have friends who have a band. They play anything. Waltzes, polkas, even your kind of music.”

I was wondering exactly what kind of music my kind of music was, but she didn’t wait for an answer.

“He can dance, can’t he?”

It was a question I had considered. I also tabled the discussion before I had it. Why ask the question? I already knew the answer. No, he couldn’t dance. To keep wedding plans from getting overwhelming, I took evasive tactics.

“No problem, Mom. We’re both rusty, so we signed up for dance lessons.”

I had seen the sign on the bulletin board at the hospital where I worked. Six classes – six different dances. The city college was offering classes and the classes were cheap – a buck a class a person. It sounded like a great solution.

Our enthusiasm was high as Bob and I attended the first class. But after an hour practicing “1-2-3, turn, 1-2-3, turn, guy-smash-girl’s-foot, 1-2-3, turn” we’d both said things we wished we hadn’t, and three of my toes were throbbing and bruised.

Even so, we were young and optimistic. Surely the second class would be better. Not really. We were young and inexperienced, and we knew nothing about the connection between dancing and natural ability. I would have had better luck dancing the cha-cha with a chihuahua, but there wasn’t one available.

Neither of us were naturals on the dance floor, but we weren’t stupid. In fact, we had a lot of smarts. And as a dear mentor once told me, part of being smart is knowing what you are not good at – and not doing it.

We nixed the cha-cha and the waltz, and decided we could fake the polka with enthusiastic lunges. As for the traditional first dance, we wimped out, much to the chagrin of our mothers. No waltzing around the dance floor.

We chose a song that had a slow beat, and did the slow dance reminiscent of those self-consciously done during high school dances in a decorated gym. Bride and groom in each others arms, gazing into each others eyes, swaying to the music, and shuffling in a circle while never lifting our feet from the floor.

When the music stopped, everyone applauded. We sighed. And smiled.

That slow dance has served us well for more than 35 years.

Here are a few tips for giving search engine research a try.

  • Pick a year. Research the Top 10s. Look at the popular culture or a price list of basic needs–a loaf of bread, milk, a first class stamp, a new auto or home.
  • Consider printing the lists to keep in your memoir stash for future reference.
  • Read through your research lists until an item triggers a memory. If necessary, play a few songs on YouTube or watch a few clips from movies or television shows.
  • Write down at least one memory. Don’t worry about perfect sentences or how the words flow at the beginning. Just get the memory down on paper. You can always rewrite later.

In the next part, I’ll introduce a photography project for collecting memories. It’s quick, easy, and you’ll love the keepsake results.

Next: Part 3, Keepsake Photo Booklet

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Writing Your Life Story Part 1: Introduction to Writing

January 6, 2014 by 2 Comments

 

Driving Home © 2009 Bo Mackison

Have you thought about writing your life story?

“Nope, way too hard,” you think.

That is exactly what I thought, too, until my 88-year-old mother unintentionally gave me the nudge I needed.

My mother has always been quite secretive about her life, never one to share stories.

On a recent visit, she mentioned running into an old friend. I didn’t recognize the man’s name. Finally, my mother divulged that he had been an old beau whom she had known for years before she met and married my father. I remarked that I knew little from that time of her life and she announced that she could list all of the boyfriends she had ever dated. As she started reciting names and memories, I grabbed a nearby notebook and jotted down her list. In ten minutes I learned more about her late adolescence and early adulthood than I had learned in the previous five decades. And it was effortless.

Later I prompted her on other topics. “What trips did you take before you married?” “Who are the five most famous people you’ve met in your life?” Each time I asked a question, she responded with a list full of quirky details. By the end of the weekend, I had several pages of stories featuring my mother.

I also had the opportunity to try the listing method for retrieving my own memories.

My younger daughter worked at a movie theater for many years, and she had unlimited access to movies. One evening, as she was going to another show, her third that week, I remarked I’d seen perhaps a half-dozen movies before high school graduation.

“Really? You only went to six movies as a kid?” She was shocked by the thought. “What did you see?”

It only took me a minute to recall the movie titles. They were highlights of a childhood when movies were a huge treat. Amanda sat down in amazement and asked me about my movie experiences. As she listened, her eyes widened in surprise at the differences between the movie experiences in the 1960s versus today.

After I recalled my memories about movies seen in my youth, I wrote a list and added details.

Here is an example from the list “Movies I Saw in A Theater as a Kid”

Movie Memories © 2010 Bo Mackison

. . . when my friends and I were just sixteen, and beginning to accrue driving privileges, the movie Romeo and Juliet was released with much hype. To our dismay, it was not playing at the local movie theater. No, it was at the off-limits drive-in theater on the edge of town! I had never been to a drive-in movie and doubted I’d get permission to go.

But my girlfriends and I were determined to see this movie. Perhaps it helped that Romeo and Juliet was a Shakespearean classic. Perhaps it helped that I planned to go with five other girls crammed into one father’s trusted Oldsmobile. And I’m sure it helped that my friend’s parents agreed to also attend the show and park their car next to ours.  They kept a watchful eye on us the entire evening. Jan’s dad brought his pipe, her mother brought her knitting, and I don’t think they looked towards the big screen even once . . .

I was surprised at the memories I thought I’d long forgotten. Not only was list making an effective aid for recalling details, it was easy and fun, too.

You can use the same technique to jump-start your writing. List making leads to memory making.

Here is how to start:

  • Think of a topic. Use the movie prompt or one of your own. It is easier to write if you initially give yourself guidelines. For example, instead of listing all of your favorite books, list five books you read as high school requirements. Instead of writing about a summer vacation, list the highlights of your first weekend trip to the big city. Remember, it is easy to expand a narrow topic if you are so inclined, but not nearly as easy to pick a huge topic and find the thread of the beginning.
  • Once you have a list of a few items, fill in the details. The list acts as a prompt for retrieving memories you didn’t know you remembered.
  • Be alert for ideas for new lists. Record them in a notebook as they come to you. Topics may come from family conversations, newspaper or magazine articles, radio or television programs, or your daily activities.
  • Don’t over-think this project. Keep several small notebooks or index cards in your home, car, and purse. As you recall details, jot down key words.

Are you thinking of reasons why you can’t write your life story?

Here are three things that may help you get started:

  • You are creative. Though you may fear you are not creative enough to write your memoir, you are the only person who can write about your life from your point of view.
  • You are writing for yourself. Maybe you will share it with family members or friends, maybe you won’t, but the person you are ultimately writing your memoir for is yourself.
  • Writing is a way to explore and connect with your past, perhaps even resolve issues. Your writing is what you make it. The simple act of putting down the words of your story, or doing the coming memoir projects, provides you with an opportunity to make meaning in your life.
  • This can be a big project, or as small as you wish. You do not have to write chronologically. You do not have to record every experience, every detail. Write bits and pieces, collect them in one place, and you will have a start to writing memoir. Write your life story in whatever way works for you. It is your memoir project.

In this series, I offer a dozen writing techniques and creative projects to encourage you on your memoir journey.

Writing Your Life Story is a multimedia project that will inspire you to create/write/photograph your memoir in fun, easy, and interesting bits. I hope you’ll be inspired to try the various projects. We will be writing unique exercises to flesh out your memories, shoot a few photography projects (with any camera – cell phone camera, point and shoot, digital SLR is fine) and explore other multimedia ideas in the quest to “collect your memoir”.

There are writing prompts, simple photography projects, ideas for inventive interviews, creative research techniques, suggestions on how to physically contain your memoir stash, and much more. Twice a week I will post a new memoir project. Imagine how quickly your memoir will grow, a bit at a time.

I invite you to join me in this multimedia memoir project. After all . . . if you don’t write your life story, who will?

Next: Part 2, Search Engine as Muse

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