Sunrays on the Valley

Oro Valley Sunset

Sun Rays over Oro Valley

The weather has been volatile in southern Arizona the past few days. Layers of billowing gray clouds, scattered puffy white clouds, rain, icy mix, a bit of snow, lots of wind, a few periods of bright blue skies.

This is the type of weather changes I’m accustomed to in the Midwest, but my weather watching skills had gotten a bit stale. When I looked at the weather graphics over the Arizona map, there was usually a sunny sun. occasionally a sun with a few clouds, infrequently a chance of rain. It is easy to love a blue sky day.

But these past few days offered opportunities in sky watching that were unmatched in my brief history of Arizona sky watching. Wow. The clouds hovering atop the many mountains peaks or obliterating the mountains themselves in gray swirly masses are captivating. Rainfalls in the desert bring a certain sense of glee, suspending all manner of plans and sensibilities.

And the cloudbreaks, just as the sun is setting are enough to make me stop the car, haul out my camera gear, and capture the sun rays spreading far across Oro Valley.

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Bo Mackison is a photographer and owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC. Yesterday she took a day trip across southern Arizona, was enthralled with the scenery and the pageantry in the skies.

Arched Gate in Tubac

Arched Gate

Arched Gate ©2013 Bo Mackison

“Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Sherpa and I were wandering the back roads of Tubac, Arizona, a small community about 50 miles south of Tucson, this past weekend. I’ve walked these roads many times. Tubac is one of my favorite visits – one of the oldest towns in Arizona and one of the largest art communities in Arizona. Tubac prides itself as being a place where history and art merge, and they have reason to be proud.

It is a historian’s paradise – the oldest Spanish Presidio in Arizona dates from 1752 and is maintained with care by a community consortium at the Tubac Presidio Park. Old Town, the original part of town, is often missed by visitors – it’s a treasure trove for architect lovers and photographers. Most of the shops and galleries are in the newer part of Tubac, near the road leading into town. Numbering in the nineties, there is always one more shop to browse or art gallery to visit. Then there’s the Tubac Center of the Arts in the heart of town, an anchor that provides art workshops, lectures, and seasonal exhibitions.

And if all that shopping and art and history isn’t enough, the mountains of the Coronado National Forest loom to the east. The Santa Cruz River, a riparian corridor, offers a ribbon of green and opportunities for birding. Scenery is awe-inspiring in all directions and an easily accessible part of the Anza National Historic Trail is just a few steps away.

In a few weeks – February 6 through the 10 – the village will celebrate the arts in a big way as the 54th Annual Tubac Festival of the Arts springs into life. Hundreds of artists from all over the United States be there. It’s a show I’ve done the past two years. When I decided against hauling all of my large art and tent set-up to Arizona this year, I knew I’d be sorry to miss the Tubac show. But next week I’ll be at the Art Festival, this time as a patron,  and this year I’ll be able to see the whole show.

I spoke to a shop owner, asked her if she was ready for the arrival of the many artists and visitors. She gave me an enthusiastic yes, and explained that many of the shops did enough business during the five-day art festival to support their business and livelihood for the year. An example of how art is such an inherent part of a small community, not only as an extra but as a vital contributor.

If you are in the Tucson area, consider a visit to the Tubac Festival of the Arts, visit some of the shops and galleries, have a look around at the amazing history visible in the very seams of the community. It’s a trip well worth your time.

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Bo Mackison is a photographer and owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC. She loves to photograph the many small communities in southern Arizona where history merges with the arts.

Shadow Play on the Patio

Favorite Stop for Coffee - Arizona Sonora Desert Museum

Shadows on the Patio ©2013 Bo Mackison

Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven’t had our coffee, in which case we feel 107. ~ Martha Beck

Now that I’ve completed the initial phase of my photo project on my Barriers series, I’ve returned to walking the desert trails. One of my favorite stops is the coffee shop at the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum. This desert discovery place in the midst of the Tucson Mountains, one of my favorite destinations for hiking, wandering, or just setting up my day office at a picnic site for hours of art, journal writing and photography. It’s also a grand way to either start or end my day – complimentary coffee or iced tea for members!

I can never sit on the patio overlooking the desert exhibits without getting at least temporarily distracted by the light and shadow contrasts from the slatted beams of the ramada offering protection from the elements.

And I always appreciate a good cup of coffee or a prickly pear iced tea as I consider the play of light and shadow. Oh, yes I do!

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Bo Mackison is a photographer and owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC. And she always enjoys a good shadow photo opportunity!

Barriers – A Series

These twelve photographs are from my portfolio “Barriers”. I explore the journey of claiming my story and sharing my healing process, using my photography as a stepping off platform. I have posted each photograph with my story compiled from journals, letters, and personal conversations during the past two weeks. This is the series in completion.

I.

23 Lizard in Bisbee Arizona

Threatened © 2011 Bo Mackison

Let go of the need for perfection – perfection bought at a high cost.
Embrace imperfection, acknowledge mistakes, claim the lessons they provide. Embrace change.   ~ Bo Mackison

II.

Barbed Wire

Barbed Wire © 2012 Bo Mackison

Your life with its immensity and fear . . . now bounded, now immeasurable, it is alternately stone in you and star.
~
Rainer Maria Rilke, from Evening

III.

Warehouse in Winter

Boarded Window © 2011 Bo Mackison

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude
in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  ~ Viktor E Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

IV.

Barrio Brewery

Barrio Window © 2012 Bo Mackison

“We can spend our whole lives escaping from the monsters of our minds.”
~ Pema Chödrön When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times

V.

Bathed in Bright Lights

Bathed in Bright Lights © 2012 Bo Mackison

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”
~ Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times

VI.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel © 2012 Bo Mackison

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” ~ Naomi Wolf

VII.

Bisbee Arizona

Art Lives © 2012 Bo Mackison

“Art is not a part of life, it is not an addition to life, it is the essence of those pieces of us that make us fulfilled.
That give us hope. That give us dreams and provide the world a view very different than what it would have been without us.”  ~ Hasan Davis

VIII.

Riot Art © 2011 Bo Mackison

Riot Art © 2011 Bo Mackison

Where something becomes extremely difficult and unbearable,
there we also stand already quite near its transformation.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

IX.

Fire Escapes

A Means of Escape © 2010 Bo Mackison

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall. ~ Confucius

 X.

Defaced Wall II

Beyond, The World © 2012 Bo Mackison

Trees are sanctuaries.  Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth.  They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life. ~ Hermann Hesse

XI.

Looking Upwards

Looking Upwards © 2011 Bo Mackison

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloudshadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

XII.

Southwest at the End of the Medical Records Tunnel

Sunny Days at the End of the Medical Records Tunnel © 2012 Bo Mackison

“The portal of healing and creativity always takes us into the realm of the spirit.”  ~ Angeles Arrien

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Bo Mackison is a photographer and owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC.  “Barriers” – a twelve part series exploring photography, possibilities, and the healing process.

 



Rapunzel, Rapunzel — Barrier Series # 5

Rapunzel, Rapunzel © 2012 Bo Mackison

“Above all be the heroine in your life, not the victim.” ~ Nora Ephron

This post is the fifth in the series of my story, an intimate exploration of art and healing. See the introduction and complete series at My Healing Journey

I was in my mid-thirties, a wife and mother of three children under the age of nine, when I had what I refer to as a spirit breakdown. Most people, including medical professionals, call this a mental breakdown. But truly, it was not my mind that could no longer carry my burden. There was a disconnect from my spirit, from my center, from my wholeness.

For years I had successfully woven together a life that looked much like any other woman’s in my neighborhood. I was married. I worked part-time in the physical therapy department at a local nursing home. I led Girl Scout troops, worked in the concession stands at Little league games, organized a co-op playgroup for my two-year old and her friends. I was active in church and school functions.

And then one day in an early October, I received a jury duty summons in the mail. Two weeks later, I was in a courtroom, one of thirteen jurors chosen to hear an assault case. The case was a first degree sexual assault case; the victim was a woman my age, married with three children, active in her church and neighborhood.

The woman testified repeatedly how she was unable to recall many details of her assault, how instead she’d had an out-of-body experience. She had floated above her body as the two assailants raped her and had observed the attack in a haze. In her dissociative state, she felt no pain, no fear. Even when she returned to her body, after the assailants had run away, she questioned what had actually happened. It was several hours before she went to a hospital, was counseled by a law enforcement/rape crisis team, and the necessary examinations were completed and documented.

This testimony caused quite a stir during jury deliberations. People were skeptical, doubtful. Many of the jurors, including most of the men, did not believe her. They accused her of telling lies to cover her own part in what they thought was a possible illicit affair. However the women on the jury found her testimony very believable. One woman juror, a recently retired nurse, stated dissociation was a well documented medical phenomenon.

I took part in the jury deliberations, but some of the time, as I listened, I felt an overwhelming sense of fear and anger. I felt threatened. I requested a break as I was feeling ill, but convinced myself  I’d contacted a flu bug in the close quarters of the courtroom.

After several days of deliberations, the jury found the men guilty.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” ~ Naomi Wolf

During the following six weeks, I could not stop replaying the woman’s story. Visions of her rape and dissociative testimony haunted me. I began to feel less connected to my life. Time became distorted. I struggled with my regular activities and my children’s schedules. I began having flashbacks from my childhood.

I felt the need to get away from my family. I felt unworthy to be a part of their lives.

I wanted to hide. I imagined myself in a place far away where no one would know me or expect anything of me. I dreamed of hiding in a tall tower, alone with my shame. I wished for a life like the fairy tale character, Rapunzel. I could live alone. I’d have no contact with anyone and no one would have contact with me.

During this time, I had glimpses of my truths; I refused to believe them. I wanted my life to return to normal, yet I vaguely understood I could never be the woman I’d been only a few months before.

Unsure and frightened, I was in limbo.

      – compiled from journal entries and letters, 1990-91

Next: Unlock the Art