No Escape – Barrier Series # 3

see url This post is the third in my photo/story series on my journey of healing and recovery. See the introduction and complete series at  https://www.brigantesenglishwalks.com/itw11g381f My Healing Journey.

Barrio Brewery

go here No Escape © 2012 Bo Mackison

https://dcinematools.com/3ml6d4nfwa “We can spend our whole lives escaping from the monsters of our minds.” ~ follow Pema Chödrön

https://getdarker.com/editorial/articles/31xgw7r The time comes when I need a safe environment. I need protection from myself. High away – no escape, no contact. High away. Plastic windows and bars to protect those inside from themselves, and to protect those on the outside, too.

https://purestpotential.com/0u2sax7hph Administrators make attempts to brighten our environment – primary colored lounge furniture, pictures on the walls – but none of that offers protection from the hurried words, the rigid restrictions, the mind-numbing drugs, the incessant blare of televisions and radios.

https://www.elevators.com/8audrnxsq Or the voices that only I hear.

click here ~ based on journal entries, 1990

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source site The photographs that make up the Barrier Series are a set of photos that symbolically follow the story of my mental and spirit breakdown and healing process. The photos are not related to any specific places where I might have had treatment. The series metaphorically correspond to the phases I moved through during recovery, as I focused first on staying alive; second on regaining basic functions, and finally on regaining my wholeness.

https://penielenv.com/p0to8gsq8 This photograph represents a difficult time in that process. Unrelated events led to an awakening, necessary but brutally painful, that led me to assess the reality of my past. It was devastating. I was suicidal and extremely ill; I required in-patient psychiatric care. And although it was a difficult time for me, it was excruciatingly painful for my family, including my husband and small children.

see url The place I stayed is a place no one would want to stay for any length of time. And yet, I was fortunate to be in a hospital that provided me with my greatest likelihood for survival. At the time, I was not appreciative of the efforts and time my caregivers expended on my behalf. But as I look back on those years, decades ago, I am overcome with deep gratitude for these people. They worked with dedication to keep me safe and protect me until I was ready to take over that work myself. It wasn’t an easy job for any of us.

http://www.mscnantes.org/zfkft5a Next: Four Walls and a Bright Light