Living on the edges means recognizing those places and experiences that do not offer easy answers, those fierce edges of life where things are not as clear as we hope them to be. There is also beauty in the border spaces, those places of ambiguity and mystery. ~ Christine Valters Paintner

I am in New York City.

Sherpa and I flew in a few days ago, had a beautiful view of the city as we landed. Twinkling lights, rows of brighter street lights, the sun already set in the west but still lighting the skies with those border colors between day and night – the ribbons of yellows, oranges, purples, grays.

We spent a busy weekend walking the streets in Midtown, walking the criss-cross of trails and paths and roads in Central Park. We visited with our eldest who took the train in from Long Island. She’s lived in a half-dozen places in NYC, and so, is more than qualified to know the ins and outs. We had a couple of marvelous meals in out-of-the-way spaces, and of course fit in a few touristy type activities, too.

But today Sherpa heads to a training course – the real reason we are here – and our daughter returned to LI for the start of the work week. That leaves me here, on my own-some, with plenty of plans and a couple of maps and a list of places I would love to visit. And yet, here I am, still in the hotel room at 8:30, in that place of ambiguity, on my own personal border where I will have to sacrifice my comfort if I want to explore the beauty in the border spaces, in the places I am not familiar with, nor at ease with.

There was a time, not all that many years ago, where I chose to stay in the hotel while others took care of their city business, waiting for someone to return. Only then would I venture beyond the places and spaces I knew.

This spring I managed living solo near Tucson, a frequent visitor to a desert I did not know, but taught myself to love by frequent visits. And so I shall do the same with the streets of New York. Perhaps it isn’t my beloved desert nor my familiar Midwest prairies and forests, perhaps in my mind I am as far from the Sonoran Desert or the Northwoods as I can imagine. But I am on my way, out the door.

The only way I will learn to love this new space is to explore it, be okay with the ambiguity and embrace the mystery.

So . . . off I go.

————

Bo Mackison is a photographer and owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC. She lives in the Midwest, loves the Southwest, and is now exploring the Big Apple. With her camera, of course!