I came to Arizona in early February with a place to stay, two art festivals where I had been accepted to exhibit my photography, and ten weeks to discover the desert–and discover how well I could live “solo” in the Southwest.

I had bookmarked reference sites on my computer and I had a half-dozen books about Arizona with me. There were hundreds of notations in the margins on places to travel, photographs to consider, adventures to take, galleries to visit.

And I had a page in one of my raggedy journals with a list of goals– some large, some small; some that would take the whole time. (Or a whole lifetime, I was to find out.)

I had planned on taking one last “explore” today, this being the last full day I’ll be in Arizona “solo”, but the weather isn’t cooperating. Dust storms are not the best conditions for taking photographs, but more important, not the best conditions for me to drive on the Interstate.

Plus, now that I have some unexpected quiet time–gusty winds rustling outside not withstanding– I can take a few hours to assess just how well I have spent the last ten weeks, and to draw some conclusions. [If this is too detailed and long for your preferred blog post reading, skim or just enjoy the photographs.]

I’m writing the details out for me. But I’m also writing this for everyone out there who carries a big dream in their heart and soul — a dream that they’ve had for a long time, but a dream that keeps getting returned to the “Maybe Later” shelf or the “I Can’t Do It” closet or the “It’s Too Hard” drawer.

I pushed away my dream of going to the Southwest and exploring the area “solo” for a long time. I had so many reasons I couldn’t go, it was an exhausting event for me to just examine all of them. Then I gradually discovered I would never live my dream until I stopped dreaming and began planning. And so  I–admittedly, very haphazardly–began writing to-do lists everywhere. By writing down the tiny steps I had to take, I began to get a clearer grasp on how to achieve my dream and I got a bit closer to its realization.

On weary days, I wrote lists with only a few words: JUST DO IT! The words were motivational, but they didn’t produce much action.

On my better days, I wrote lists with dozens and dozens of steps spread over pages of my notebook, each step building on the last one. Most of these lists I shredded in frustration. (The “I can’t do it” gremlins were screaming in my head, and I was in total agreement that I just wasn’t up to the challenge.) But I hid a couple of the lists in the back of an Arizona Photography book for safe-keeping. Just in case my bravery returned.

Finally, I admitted I couldn’t do all of the planning alone IF I wanted to be successful, that I had a lot to learn before I could embark on my dream, that I couldn’t manage each and every step totally on my own, and that I didn’t have to, either. I realized that I could ask for help and that was a turning point for me.

And so, at various time during the year long planning process, I enlisted the help of my husband–Sherpa has stood by me for 35 years–through some very good years and some very hard years–and he encouraged me to go for my dream, as did other important people in my life.

This was the first IMPORTANT thing I learned–one doesn’t have to embark on their dream alone. Even if the dream is about “going solo”. One can ask for advice, for help, for encouragement, for a listening ear, for whatever makes the attainment of the goal possible. Perhaps you won’t get what you ask for, perhaps you’ll have to think of an alternative resource or a work-around, but you won’t know until you’ve asked. I asked, and received, plenty of help, and it didn’t lessen the achievement of my dream.

Also, all those tiny lessons one learns during the preparation? It’s all good stuff to stockpile in your dream chest and good stuff to use and re-use when the going gets tough while you are living your dream. Hey, just because you are finally living your dream, it doesn’t mean there won’t be a misstep here and there.

Coming next is Part II: So many goals! Now what do I do?

—————————-

Photos are from my trip to Tonto National Forest. Roosevelt Lake is a popular recreational area. The lake was formed when a masonry dam–the oldest such structure in Arizona–was built across the Salt River in 1911. Tonto National Monument is within the National Forest and preserves two ancient cliff dwellings. Unfortunately, when I arrived late on a Tuesday afternoon, the guided tour was booked full for the next days and I was a minute too late to go on the shorter hike. (Last unguided tour must leave by 4:00 pm.)

—————————-

Bo Mackison is a photographer and owner of Seeded Earth Studio LLC. She will soon be returning to Wisconsin after living in Tucson for two months. She’s been exploring Arizona, taking photographs, and blogging about photography, art, and living life “solo.” Now it’s time for her to assess what was accomplished in the last ten weeks.